Learning to Adapt

My toe smashed into the corner of the wall with sufficient force to elicit multiple screams and other commentary that could scar the ears of any kind soul within a 2-mile radius.

Why did this happen? Environmental consciousness.

To save the Earth, the hotel room’s lights were set to emit less brightness than the average neolithic cave. Taken together with base molding that stuck out in unexpected ways and furniture legs that stuck out in unexpected ways, I was guaranteed a toe-stubbing.

That’s how it goes… Stay in a hotel, short-term rental, or other unfamiliar place, and prepare for injury. New rooms require a bodily understanding of the layout. It’s called adaptability. My toe failed the test.

Long stretches of sameness in your life lull you into a state of complacency. In the wild, complacency is an on-ramp to getting eaten by an apex predator. In our lives, complacency tends to lead to inaction and stubborn unpreparedness. When the change happens – a health scare or family issue – the scramble begins. Being adaptive means responding to change in a manner that sets you up for a better-than-expected result.

I do not like scrambling. I like to plan ahead, if possible. Running scenarios in your head is one way to prepare, but without professional guidance, such mental exercises offer false conclusions and introduce fear. Contextualizing those same scenarios and drafting the necessary documents to handle a changing circumstance is the elder law attorney’s way to prepare.      

If you become ill, what will you do? Can you rely on an adult child to handle finances and make health care decisions? Are you comfortable giving up control? Are there enough resources to privately pay for long-term care? Where will you live? Are you able to transition to a different life and can you bring your existing support system along for the ride?

These are the questions you get answered before you make the big decisions. It involves self-actualization – knowing who you are, your priorities, and how you handle situations. How can you be adaptive if you do not want that responsibility? Or how can you be self-sufficient if you have relied on others for decades? 

There is the support system that you fantasize about versus the actual flawed support system that is present.   

Your attorney can draft a Trust, a Power of Attorney, a Health Care Proxy, and a HIPAA form, but they cannot change your personality or force you to have better relationships.

The home you have lived in for 50 years may be unsuitable for caregiving. The assisted living facility you dismissed may provide socialization and attention to detail that allows you to flourish in the face of care challenges. The adult children you have kept in the dark concerning your finances may be exactly the people who will preserve your assets.

A simple adjustment of mindset allows you to adapt and succeed during the most complicated and difficult period of your life.

The Feller Group is located at 572 Route 6, Suite 103, Mahopac; and 223 Katonah Ave., Unit F, Katonah, and can be reached at 845-621-8640 or at www.thefellergroup.com.